The reality of the hurt adoptee is not pretty but sugarcoating it makes it harder to heal.
In 2002, I began to chronicle my adoption journey by creating Forever Parents, a supportive online community for adoptive and waiting parents.
Over the next year, we grew our support forums to include an adoption shop and a collaborative blog. Forever Parents stayed active for over ten years, helping thousands of people during that time. Currently, I'm in the process of updating and moving all the blog posts here where they will be housed under the Forever Parents category.
I asked our amazing adoption forum members what they wanted people to know about adoption, and here are their replies. I’ll share my thoughts at the end. If you’re a parent through adoption, please share what you want others to know about adoption, in a comment below.
Older child adoption has given me more joy, more sadness, more fulfillment, more stress and more gray hairs than anything else in my life. We recently passed our five-year adoption mark (we adopted three siblings) and sometimes it feels like five days, while other times it feels like five million years.
Adopting older children can be very rewarding but it’s not for the faint of heart. These children will bring you every bad experience they’ve had and dump it right into your unsuspecting lap. I adopted not one, not two but three older children and I’ve learned a few things along the way. Here are five things to remember when adopting an older child.
When my three children were in foster care (’99-’03), there were two other foster children living in the home with them. One of them was a boy a year older than my youngest. We remain friendly with their former foster parents and still see them a couple of times a year. About six months after we finalized their adoption, Pat (their former foster mother) called me to say that the other boy was starting placement with a couple that lived near us.
On our adoption forums, a member asked this question:
For all of you who have adopted internationally, what have your experiences been? What should we be looking out for and asking agencies?