“This too shall pass”.
That was my mothers favorite expression, and she didn’t just say it, she lived it. I actually found a magnet for my refrigerator (in the gift shop at the United Nations of all places) and it’s a daily reminder to breathe and know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Growing up and into becoming a young adult, I saw my mother deal with sorrow and heartache in a way that shaped how I try to handle the struggles and sadness that life sometimes throws at us. Her initial reaction was to feel it — really feel it.
She didn’t shove it down, or get drunk, or do any of the other number of things we do to drown out our feelings. No – instead she screamed and cried. She cursed, got depressed and cried more. She felt her sadness. I’ve watched her grieve the death of two husband’s (my father and step-father), her parents and two of her siblings, and each time she felt the sadness of their crossing over with every cell in her body. There’s a line at the end of ‘I Found Out’ by John Lennon that goes “No one can harm you. Feel your own pain”. It makes me think of my mother, especially that she loved this album (John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band) and played it often.
Then slowly she began to pick up the pieces and start the long journey of moving forward and being happy again. Because that was so important to her! Being happy was her natural state and she always found her way back there.
She was a huge influence in my life and even after she crossed over in 2007 (on 07/07/07) she still reminds me that “this too shall pass” when I need to be reminded. One day earlier this year, I stopped in a local pharmacy to pick up a prescription. On that day I was feeling the heavy weight of sadness in my heart and mind and as I started walking through the store, I saw a book rack and right at my eye level was this;
There are times when it’s hard to see past a difficult situation. Please remember that things do change and wounds do heal. Feel your pain — and then let yourself heal. (((hugs)))
Your mom sounds amazing. I have a friend who tells me to cry for five minutes (or longer) and then put my big girl panties on and deal with the issue. I love both pieces of advice! Far too often I have people telling me to get over it when all I want to do is scream and kick and cry. I am going to allow ALL of the feels and THEN, only then move on.
Wow, this hit home!!! Ill never forget a time that i was really down and out and a lady I worked with gave me a calendar that says “THIS TO SHALL PASS” and now when I find myself feeling sad i look at the calender and remember this to shall pass…THANK YOU JOAN FOR POSTING THIS!
Your mother sounds like she was an amazing woman! I am a strong believer in owning every bit of our emotions. Excellent advice!
Your mom sounds like a very special and wise woman. It’s funny because I always think of that saying when I’m at the dentist!
I am so sorry your mom has had to go through what she has gone through and as her daughter I am sure it was hard to watch her go through it. This quote is definitely true!
What a beautiful post.
It sounds like your Mom was a wonderful woman. Being positive is so important during difficult times.